


Memories Will Never Truly Fade

by imaginarydaydreams



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-24 17:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15635781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginarydaydreams/pseuds/imaginarydaydreams
Summary: Even after all is said and done, the memories of those eleven days will never truly fade from her mind. That night was a reminder of such. (Spoilers for Ray Route.)





	Memories Will Never Truly Fade

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Mysme Angst Week Day 1 - Memories. That being said, please read with caution; this is some really heavy stuff. Thank you to [Kaja,](http://thatrandomlittlegirl.tumblr.com/) [Mina,](http://saijeou.tumblr.com/) and [Maddi](http://eliza-roselie.tumblr.com/) for being my betas.

He awoke to another scream in the middle of the night.

It was sharp, piercing. A shrill cry that cut through the once peaceful silence and startled him back into the conscious world. It was loud, echoing with so much anguish that he was almost convinced that he had screamed involuntarily due to the traumatic nightmares that constantly plagued his every move.

Almost.

But as his hands clumsily fumbled around for the light switch, panic coursing through his veins, he came to the realization that, no, this scream wasn’t coming from  _him_  but rather  _someone else_.

Someone whom he’d never want to hear such distress from. 

The bedside lamp was flipped on, the faint light illuminating the darkness as Saeran looked over to MC. She was wide awake, eyes red and brimming with tears as she trembled terribly from her side of the bed. Her hands were clenched tightly over her ears as she shook her head rapidly from side to side, trying to block out the phantoms that still seemed to haunt her long after sleep had eluded her.

**“MC? Angel, are you alright? What’s wrong—”**

Before he could get in any words, she launched herself off of the bed and onto the floor, curling into a ball on the floor as she continued to shiver uncontrollably. He immediately followed after her, tripping over himself as he fell beside her. He could only observe her, watching her with worry and hesitation as he tried to decide whether it would be a smart move to try and comfort her.

She only continued to tremble, her soft words breaking his heart slowly as he strained to hear them in the deft silence.

**“I’ll be okay,”**  she whimpered under her breath, her hands pulling at her hair, almost trying to rip it away.  **“I’ll be okay; it’ll come to pass. I’ll be okay…”**  Her eyes were unfocused, blank, darting back and forth wildly at her surroundings.

His hand instinctively reached out again to try and hold her, to comfort her, to reassure her in any way that he possibly could.

But her next words pierced his heart far worse than any blade ever could.

**“NO!”**  She shrieked as soon as her eyes met his. She flinched away from his touch and tugged at her messy locks in attempt to block out the ghostly voices ringing in her ears.  **“PLEASE STAY AWAY! DON’T TOUCH ME! I’ll be good, I promise! Just please…don’t make me drink the elixir…”**

His face crumpled, hand dropping to his side as he could only stare at her. He felt his heart break into crystalline shards as her words replayed over in his mind, stuck on repeat, a realization finally dawning on him.

She had always been strong for him. Even back then…even back when he was degrading and harassing her under the effects of the elixir back at Mint Eye, she always held her ground. Always approached him with a calm mind and kind words, guiding him slowly back to himself, back to the sweet boy that he once was.

But never once did he stop to perhaps think that those days affected her a lot more than he would have thought.

She had always hid her fear behind a well-placed mask that he never caught a glimpse of the way she shook after waking from the same recurring nightmare that currently plagued her mind. The way that she would silently sob herself to sleep with only thoughts of foreboding as her companions. The way that she would whisper words of comfort to herself, trying to reassure herself that he would never return to his cruel self ever again.

Reassuring herself of a future so unsure that it was almost delusional of her to even believe in something so hopeful.

Even now, he could still see the terror reflecting in her glassy gaze as she stared emptily out at him, looking not at him but past him as if she was seeing the shadow of his past self come to torment her once more.

Another coughing fit overtook her and her hand immediately went to the collar of her shirt, gripping the fabric as if her life depended on it. He immediately gathered her into his arms, watching as she turned her face into his chest and cried against him. His fingers laced themselves through hers, pulling them away from her neck and letting her squeeze, anything to stop her from hurting herself in her delirium.

She sobbed uncontrollably in his arms, shaking in his embrace as she clutched onto him for dear life. Like he was her lifeline—which he might as well have been while she was caught in such a high panicked state of mind.

**“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”**

**“Shhhh, my angel, there is nothing to be sorry about.”** He stroked her hair, whispering words of comfort softly into her ears,  **“I promised you once before that you would never see that cruel side of me ever again, and I will keep renewing this promise to you as much as you need. So please, let your tears out and don’t worry. I will be here for you as you were for me. Forever and always.”**

They stayed like this for ages, him rubbing up and down her arms and her trembling as she continued to let out her anguish.

By the time her tears had finally dried, the morning sun was already peeking through the curtains, calling forth the dawn of a new day.

She had exhausted herself by this point, head resting against his chest and hand tightly intertwined in his. A few times he felt her twitch, her fingers clenching and unclenching—restlessly, desperately. Her hair fell over her face, covering the tear tracks that marred her cheeks alongside the deep, dark circles that sunk in her eyes—a sickly appearance that Saeran wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating or not.

But those screams from the night before were real. Her desperate pleas had been real.

_Those frightened tears had been real._

He felt that he had no right to do this, to even have touched her and comforted her as he did, but he couldn’t just let her sleep against the floor like this. Her body was already freezing and he would rather die than let her fall sick.

Not that he wasn’t already dead inside from last night but that was beside the point.

So he lifted her gently into his arms, shifting her into a more comfortable position before carrying her back onto their shared bed. He laid her gently onto the blankets, tucking them around her and pulling them up to her chin before brushing the stray locks from her face.

He prayed that sweet dreams would find her this time around. That she would be protected from the nightmares that had threatened to break her apart, as they often did with him. But as he stared at her furrowed brow, her pained expression, he realized that his prayers were left unanswered.

He continued to watch over her intently, gently stroking her hair as she slept.

He wanted nothing more than to give her the happiness that she deserved.

But he knew.

He knew that it was only a fleeting dream…for how could he possibly give her any respite when it was he who was the cause of her trauma?

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wondered why most people never really seemed to write comfort fics where MC is the one having the nightmares. I mean, being thrown into a situation; falling in love with someone; having that person do...all that to you for nearly three days; and then trying to move on like nothing bad happened? Like all those hardships didn't happen? You can't tell me that MC wouldn't develop some kind of major trauma from it.


End file.
